Apr
22
How Not to be hated on Facebook!
2009 at 6:49 PM, Wednesday
Over the years, Facebook has taken over the world by storm to become the most popular social networking website. And as we see every Tom, Dick & Harry joining in, we are also forced to observe their crazy behaviour piling up in our news feed. TIME magazine would like to suggest certain guidelines for these hopeless lot to avoid being hated:
1. Stop taking quizzes. Nobody cares what literary time period you are.
2. If you sync your Twitter account to Facebook so that you fill others’ news feeds with a constant stream of mundane updates and references to people with little @ symbols before their names, be prepared for people to de-friend you. Maybe even in real life.
3. Don’t friend someone you don’t actually know.
4. If you must friend someone you don’t know, include a message explaining why you are doing so. For example, "Hi, I’m your cousin’s roommate!" would suffice.
5. Actually, no. Why would your cousin’s roommate want to be your friend? That’s still weird.
6. Don’t invite people to events if they don’t live in your city. I’m glad you still live in our old college town, but guess what? I don’t. Even if I did, I still wouldn’t waste my Friday night listening to you play music at that vegan coffee shop I frequented when I was 19 because I couldn’t get into bars.
7. I’m sorry your grandfather died of emphysema, but I will not join your "cause".
8. Make sure all your photos are rotated in the proper direction. How will people know how fun your Fourth of July barbecue was if every picture looks like you fell over?
9. If you create a group called "Lost my cell phone; need your numbers!", I will join, but I won’t give you my number.
10. Cryptic status updates about your mental state – "Rachel is trying so hard", "Rachel wishes things were different", "Rachel is starting her life over" – don’t make you sound intriguing, just lonely and pathetic.
