10 things you should avoid doing while I’m working.
2009 at 11:53 AM, Saturday
1. Kindly, do not poke me when I am busy working. My reflexes are strong and may lead to actions that can result in immediate employment terminations – for you and me.
2. I produce similar outcomes when you come and try to squeeze my nipples. (People, who do it, know it.)
3. Do NOT hit behind my head. I’ve controlled my anger 10,21,412 times, and the next time shall not guarantee the similar reaction. Yes, I pretty much hit.
4. Do not talk to me when I’m on headphones. You’re as good as talking to a deaf person. If it is anything urgent, go back to your seat and IM me.
5. If you see me speaking on the phone, kindly avoid communicating with me at your best. I am on the phone and I can only talk to one person at a time.
6. If you’re trying to trespass behind my chair, kindly ask for it. Squeezing your ass between two chairs won’t do the trick. Like have the courtesy to ASK. If you don’t follow this, be prepared for a dirty stare from me. (I think that pretty much should convey the message; and if not, I use my secondary lethal options.)
7. I know I sit on the chair and it takes an effort for you to bend and talk to me. But please maintain right postures, and kindly keep a safe distance between your face and MY face. I dread faces getting closer to me. (Ladies, never mind that.)
8. No friendly taps on my back, please. This is office and your dear friend is working. Leave him happy and try not to pat his back. You’re a great friend. You wouldn’t want to lose it at the peril of your silly deeds.
9. Do not ask me to join you for tea / snacks while I’m busy preparing notes. You’re fast with your work, your friend might not be. Leave me as I am, at that particular moment, and curb your fantasy to have tea with me.
10. Everybody likes silence. If your voice levels exceed my limitations to bear the conference calls / casual chats with boyfriends / girlfriends – chances are, I’d curse you real bad mutely – with undesirable consequences.
Issued in your interest.
Yours,
Apoorv Singh
